Wednesday, 8 June 2016

CBT - Giving it a Go

So two weeks ago I started CBT (Cognitive, Behavioural Therapy) to try to fix the anxiety I've had for the past 12 or so years. I've always 'coped' with it, but it just puts a dampener on many things and I feel like it's actually gotten worse over the past few years. I don't want to end up a nervous wreck. There is so much to do and see in this world and I really want to enjoy it all.

Today was my second session (couldn't make last weeks due to my university exam).

The lady is really lovely, she puts me at ease. I know how to fix the anxieties, or the bulk of it at least, as a lot of my is coming from avoidance behaviours I've acquired over the years. The solution? Stop avoiding these things.
However, if it was that simple, I wouldn't be going for the CBT. I was a little sceptical at first as my thoughts were 'If I won't listen to myself, why am I more likely to listen to you?'. But I feel a lot better about it after this second session. I have small milestones to try and reach and I need to keep an 'anxiety diary' so she can get a better idea of where to focus.

We discussed Negative Automatic Thoughts (NATs) - the way that your brain automatically flies to the worst possible scenario - and she said we will work on trying to get rid of these. That we will never totally have none, as everybody thinks like this at some point, but aiming for a lot less, and working on how to deal with the NATs that do pop into my head.

Hopefully this is the right track. I actually don't want to do this. I just want to be 'normal'. To not have these anxieties in the first place. But...that ship has sailed! So I really have to try hard with this and hope it will be for the best.

Tuesday, 7 June 2016

Well - what happened then?!

So I disappeared from my blog for, what seems to be, four years. FOUR YEARS?! That's a really long time! It really doesn't seem that long.

So to all my, non-existent, followers, I offer my apologies.

In that time - I've mainly been studying to be quite honest. I'm studying for a mathematics degree part time, and I just completed year 5 last week. It's pretty time consuming alongside working full time as well. I may have mentioned that before as I did start it in 2011.

So, on my 'to-do now I'm not studying for the summer' list I have, to mention a few:
  • Start to learn a new language. I was looking at Korean (having recently gotten listening to the band Big Bang), but a few of my students are wanting to learn Japanese so I think I'll plump for that instead. It sure looks interesting and I hope to find some resources which suit everyone.
  • Update my Harry Potter fanfiction. You can read it here: Two Letters - Fanfiction but I've been lazing off and as I've managed to get nearly 200 followers, I really have to update soon.
  • Learn to play the banjo. Okay, I bought this last year because I thought it would be cool to learn. However, I can't find a teacher! So I need to teach myself, and it's another thing which has gone on the backburner this year.
  • Relax. I'd really like to just sit and read a book. Something I've not read before. However, I just don't feel in the mood to try something new. I went to the USA over Easter and I bought the Sophie Kinsella -Shopaholic to the Rescue (I think it was this one) in the airport in case I found myself with book-reading time (I didn't). I love these books, but I never read Shopaholic to the Stars as it had pretty poor reviews, and I didn't want to ruin the series with it. But I really should read it and form my own opinion.
  • Spend time researching the family tree. I bought my Dad an ancestry subscription for his birthday and we've been having fun researching. It's very addictive!
  • Ideally get a start on next years maths modules ('Graphs and Networking' and 'Applications of Probability' or something like that!). But I say this every summer. And don't!
  • I also need to follow up on commitments I've made this year. I fundraised for a new wheelchair for a girl I know who suffers from cerebral palsy. (She lives in an institution in another country). I raised the money, but still haven't sorted the chair out and I feel so bad about that, as I know she is so excited about it. I did go into the shop the other day and get the ball rolling though, so hopefully over the next few weeks we'll be sorted for that. I've offered to help fundraise for something else too and really must get started.
I know this list isn't even exhaustive.

I have a terrible habit of sitting down when I get home, and not getting things done. In work I keep a to do list on my notepad, and it really helps keep me focussed. I am thinking of doing the same at home to see if it helps me keep on top of things.

Anyway, now I've treated you like a diary, I'm off!

But I will try to get back on track here too.

Maybe I should add my blog to the list above!

Friday, 7 December 2012

Mini Water Vortex Lamp - a review

I was given one of these two years ago for Christmas. I think. Or maybe one year.

Anyway, it has sat in its box all this time, even though I wanted to get it on display, I didn't have anywhere to put it.

This year I bought one massive desk, so tonight the lamp got its first outing.

It is really easy to set up, not sure where the instructions are, but I may have gotten them out when I received the lamp. I filled it with water, set it on the desk and plugged it in.

There is a lovely show of different colours, and the water really did vortex. Little air bubbles swoosh around in the water. Really captivating to watch. The only, major, downside is the noise. It is really noisy, and I actually had to turn it off so I could study, which is a shame, because it is lovely to look at. It sounds like a fish tank when the filter isn't quite submerged.

All in all, a great product, but not executed as well as it could be.

Here is a little film clip, to show the lamp off.

Hmm.. Well there will be soon.

**cue next post about Googles apps!**

Sunday, 14 October 2012

Extreme Makeover - Home Edition

Just started to watch this show, and quickly realised why I stopped watching.

In tears already! It is so emotional. What a great show though, I love what these people do, of course it is all tv etc but what a great thing to do.

It does make me laugh though when Ty says;

'you all live in this small house? You'll have to fit in this small sitting room?'
'all 3 of you have to share this one bathroom?'

Has he ever been in a British house?! One bathroom is more than normal, and the sitting rooms he condemns on his show are about the size of the whole downstairs of a normal semi detached house in the UK!

But still, Americanisms aside, it is a fantastic show! Just keep the tissues handy for all the tears!

Oh, I almost forgot to add, how adorable is Xzibit? What a nice guy he seems!

Sunday, 23 September 2012

The Room review

I downloaded this app/game for my third generation iPad. 
It cost £2.99

Wow, well worth the money! 

The idea is, you are locked in a room and need to get out. You are presented with a box with multiple connected puzzles which you must solve. It reminds me of a Japanese puzzle box slightly. Different parts affect other areas of the box etc. 

The graphics are beautiful. Not often does something really wow me, but this did. Absolutely stunning graphics and design as well. The game is well thought out and planned, hints available when you need them, and they are good hints. They don't just tell you what to do, but actually give a hint which is unusual in most puzzle solving games!

I seem to have lost sight of the Room part of the game, because, as you progress you seem to go further in, but it seems irrelevant anyway, as you are so immersed in gameplay.

Sadly, the game was over all too soon, although you are left with the promise of more to come.

Massive congratulations to Fireproof games, what an achievement for your first release. I will be keeping a close eye on what else you have to offer in future.

Monday, 4 June 2012

Queen Elizabeth's Golden Jubilee

I have just caught the end of the concert on tv. The poor Queen. She looks a bit stressed. Her husband is in hospital and no doubt she is really worried, but doesn't want to disappoint the nation who want to celebrate her jubilee with her. Here is hoping that that Prince Philip recovers well, and of course a massive congratulations to her majesty on her 60 years as Queen.

Friday, 1 June 2012

3rd Generation iPad Review

Well, my birthday present this year was an iPad! I was shocked, although I had guessed beforehand from the countless hints dropped by my boyfriend who was more excited than I.

Never having owned an iPad before, I cannot compare between the iPad 1, 2 or 3rd gen. but here is my thoughts on the 3rd gen.

Upon first opening it, I was a bit confused by the lack of instructions.  I know we are in the age of technology, but I couldn't find where to put the sim card.  After looking on YouTube for a tutorial on this, calling 3 because the sim card was too big, then looking back in the bag and finding the correct simcard (yes, a little embarrassing - I was just so excited!) I got going with my iPad.

It is rather heavier than I expected- not uncomfortably so, but I wouldn't recommend carrying it in your handbag all day long.

The screen is crisp, clear and bright.  It adjusts itself for different levels of lighting in the room which is quite a nice feature. It is big enough to watch films and TV shows on, whilst still being compact. Game play is a breeze, the iPad almost hearing your thoughts before you touch the screen so you only have to lightly tap or swipe and it responds.

App store
I am also new to the app store.  I do like this, but having an android phone, find that a lot of games and apps which are free on android, must be purchased through the app store.

There doesn't appear to be a way to sort by price or paid/free which is no doubt by design but would help customers a lot and no doubt boost customer satisfaction.

The camera on the iPad is very nice for a device of its kind, although action shots tend to blur slightly - ask my rabbits! The screen camera is good for it's purpose, not as clear as the back one but for Skype etc. more than sufficient.

The gallery is easy to browse through and the quality of pictures on screen is fantastic.

I dislike the e-mail function on the iPad, mainly because you cannot easily log out.  Other family members like to use the iPad as well and I do not like that all my personal e-mails are just a click away.  So I have actually stopped using this service, opting to check my email through the browser instead, which is a shame as it would be very useful to just have it all a click and password away.

It is a good device, but merely a vessel, a blank canvas if you will, to do with what you please, be that, downloading films / music from iTunes, downloading games / apps from the App Store, showing off your holiday photo's or typing up that assignment due in next week (although I would suggest using a laptop to do the latter or you may end up with a few spelling errors!).

In fact - my laptop is barely used anymore for browsing the web and gaming.

But it is getting a look in today as I type this!