So two weeks ago I started CBT (Cognitive, Behavioural Therapy) to try to fix the anxiety I've had for the past 12 or so years. I've always 'coped' with it, but it just puts a dampener on many things and I feel like it's actually gotten worse over the past few years. I don't want to end up a nervous wreck. There is so much to do and see in this world and I really want to enjoy it all.
Today was my second session (couldn't make last weeks due to my university exam).
The lady is really lovely, she puts me at ease. I know how to fix the anxieties, or the bulk of it at least, as a lot of my is coming from avoidance behaviours I've acquired over the years. The solution? Stop avoiding these things.
However, if it was that simple, I wouldn't be going for the CBT. I was a little sceptical at first as my thoughts were 'If I won't listen to myself, why am I more likely to listen to you?'. But I feel a lot better about it after this second session. I have small milestones to try and reach and I need to keep an 'anxiety diary' so she can get a better idea of where to focus.
We discussed Negative Automatic Thoughts (NATs) - the way that your brain automatically flies to the worst possible scenario - and she said we will work on trying to get rid of these. That we will never totally have none, as everybody thinks like this at some point, but aiming for a lot less, and working on how to deal with the NATs that do pop into my head.
Hopefully this is the right track. I actually don't want to do this. I just want to be 'normal'. To not have these anxieties in the first place. But...that ship has sailed! So I really have to try hard with this and hope it will be for the best.